Although, typically I don't do the whole award-ceremony stuff, because, well, usually I talk about politicians screwing hookers or people eager for anal, and the kind of sentimentality I begin to feel when someone gives me an award just doesn't belong on the pages of this blog. I don't want to lose my street cred.
However, all that changed when the lovely gentleman at Thank Q presented me with the BILF Award (Blogger I'd like to Flog... Oh wait, I guess it's actually Fuck. Am I the only one into flogging?)
This award is perfect for me, because I enjoy being sexually objectified, and I DOUBLE LOVE sexually objectifying others. So let the nominations begin.
Bloggers I'd Like to Fuck or Flog... or Maybe Just Cuddle and Watch "The Notebook" With
- BlackLOG- One of my most loyal and most hilarious commenters. This kind of attention to detail makes him incredibly BILF-y. I would marry him for approximately 72 days.
- When Life Gives You Vodka- Gabs puts the HOT in hot mess, and she may or may not be my internet soulmate. I would spoon the shit out of her.
- In Review: Stuff and Things- Charles and I have a Twitter romance. He is also is really into peace and love, which goes to show that opposites attract. I would hate-fuck him.
- Khaki, Not Cocky- Hello gorgeous. Nhya is beautiful and a great writer. I would make her my famous chocolate-chip cookies and hold her hand like it was going out of style.
- Oh Noa- I owe over half of my pageviews to her. She's hysterical and a blogging beast. I would be her leather-clad gimp.
- A Beer for the Shower- I possibly love these men more than my boyfriend, mainly because he is not nearly as creative with MS Paint. I would let them "Boy. Boy. Girl." me. Then we'd have a beer in the shower.
So there you go. I'm a BILF. The bloggers above are BILFS. And all of my readers are RILFS.
You all wanna, like, meet up somewhere, take some Ecstasy, and see what happens?
No? Okay, I'll just go watch "The Notebook" then.